


Hit Me like a Ray of Sun, Burnin' Through My Darkest Night

by Huntress8611



Series: Whumptober 2019 [31]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crying, Day 31, Embrace, Episode: s02e17 Bobby Begins Again; Careful What You Wish For Part 2, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Men Crying, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress8611/pseuds/Huntress8611
Summary: “Eddie?” he called out softly, and he didn’t receive a response.He checked the rest of the house, but he wasn’t there. Where would he go? Buck thought. The beach, they loved the beach. He locked Eddie’s front door before making his way down to the beach. Sure enough, he could see someone sitting in the sand, watching the water.





	Hit Me like a Ray of Sun, Burnin' Through My Darkest Night

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this work is from the song Halo by Beyoncé.
> 
> This work fills the prompt for Whumptober Day 31: Embrace.

Buck knocked on the door, not really expecting his friend to answer. He waited a minute before using the key he gave him to open the door.

“Eddie?” he called out softly, and he didn’t receive a response.

He checked the rest of the house, but he wasn’t there.  _ Where would he go? _ Buck thought.  _ The beach, they loved the beach. _ He locked Eddie’s front door before making his way down to the beach. Sure enough, he could see someone sitting in the sand, watching the water.

“Eddie?” he said, sitting down next to him.

Eddie didn’t respond, staring at some pieces of paper.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

Eddie silently handed him the letter, hugging his knees to his chest.

Buck quickly read over the letter before carefully folding it and putting it in the inner pocket of his jacket, not wanting it to get damaged.

“Eddie…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

He rested a hand on Eddie’s back and the other man leaned against him. He shifted his arm to wrap it around his shoulder and Eddie curled into him, letting go of his legs to wrap his arms around Buck.

“I’ve gotcha,” Buck murmured, wrapping his other arm around him and pulling him closer, the other man practically sitting in his lap at this point.

At that, Eddie finally broke. He let out a sob, and once he started, he couldn’t stop.

"I- sorry, sorry," Eddie managed, unable to make himself pull away.

"It's okay, you're fine, don't be sorry," Buck said, resting his chin on the other man's head. "You don't have to be sorry for this."

“I- Christopher, I should- I need- I have to be with him, God, I- why am I so  _ selfish _ …” Eddie muttered, panicked. “I just- I left him- he’s with Abuela, I should- I need to be there- have to be with them...”

“Christopher’s fine, Eddie. Promise. He’s okay. You’re allowed to grieve how you need to, and you can’t do that if you’re too busy trying to stay strong for your son.”

“I know, but…” he couldn’t get anything else out past his tears.

“I know, I know. I know, Eddie, but you need this. You can’t stay strong for him if you don’t give yourself time to grieve. Just give yourself tonight, Eddie,” Buck said.

“I- I don’t know what to  _ do, _ Buck. I can’t- God… Buck, Buck, I can’t breathe…”

Sure enough, Eddie’s breathing had picked back up again and he was on his way to a full-blown panic attack.

“Eddie, I need you to listen to me,” Buck said firmly, pulling away just enough to look the man in the eye. “I need you to take a breath for me.”

“I-”

“You can do this. Breathe, Eddie.” Eddie managed a small breath and Buck continued, “Good, good job. You’re doing great, just keep doing that.”

He kept reminding him to breathe and telling him how good he was doing until his breathing was almost completely back to normal. Once that happened, he pulled Eddie back against him, tucking him under his chin.

“I’ve gotcha, you’re not alone in this. You need anything and I’ll be there. Promise.”

“Thank you, Buck,” he said, pressing his face into his neck. “Thank you.”

“Always.”


End file.
